worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
