If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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