Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
