Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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