This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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