i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
