$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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