U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
