Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
