I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
