ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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