one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
