he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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