Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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