i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
