I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
