Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
