I need help removing her.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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