I cockslap morals
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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