I hate your face
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
