How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
