Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just want to make out with him forever
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
