Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
