I heard we made out
Duck Duck Cougar?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
