so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
