You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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