Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I AM VODKA MAN
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
