We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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