im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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