his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
