You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
