haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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