I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
