just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
