I hate all girls vehemently.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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