I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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