remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
