never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
