"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
