My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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