I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
