my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
