dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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