sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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