she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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