I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
