i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
