I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
