can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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