i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
