smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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